ABHI Brexit Update: Win the Toss and Bat
Me of little faith eh? Since we last spoke, England’s cricketers have delivered magnificently and will contest a semi final of the Men’s World Cup. If sickness absence in your organisation spikes next Thursday, at least you will know why. My own conduct during England’s revival should be enough, I believe at least, to qualify me for some sort of devoted fatherhood award. For a significant proportion of the time England were compiling a victory as wonderful as it was unexpected against India at Edgbaston last weekend, my daughter was dragging me around the world’s largest Primark store. That the two venues are not more than about three miles apart, provides further evidence, which I will doubtless have to table before too much longer, of my commitment to family. I did manage to get to the Fanzone briefly, although the girls were there very much under protest, mumbling something about not being what they had in mind when I said I was taking them out to dinner. I cannot fathom it. Anywhere else in the world, deep fried, calorie laden, artery clogging, salmonella infested crap served in polystyrene trays is marketed as street food. But there is no need for you to worry about my girls. Two hundred quid in The Ivy it cost me in the end.
England’s success, and that of others in this tournament has often come as a result of challenging established thinking. Conventional wisdom dictates that when you play cricket in England at this, or indeed any other time of the year, and your game starts at 10:30 in the morning, if you win the toss you bowl first. The atmospheric conditions do the rest and it is all a foregone conclusion. Not this time. For reasons we do not need to go into here, this has been a win the toss and bat first kind of tournament.
Also defying conventional wisdom have been the wacky racers, pouring love on those not ordinarily bed fellows of the Conservative Party. The Hunt has pledged £6 billion worth of support for our farmers and fishermen who are about to lose no end of European subsidies, whilst the Blonde Buffoon is committing a similar amount to increase pay in our public services. Higher pay, not higher taxes is their mantra. Now, fiscal studies is not my strong point, and, to be honest I am not sure I should even be allowed a bank account, but I do not see how you can promise swineging tax cuts for the super rich and still provide our public sector workers with a long overdue pay rise. Chancellor Phil Hammond, who has given up any hope of serving under whoever the next PM is and, consequently, is speaking freely, has pointed it out. Again. Mind you, the candidates will know all they have to do is find Theresa’s magic money tree in the Downing Street garden, the one that provides bungs to political parties and cruise missiles when required.
The Hunt came out (and then tried to go back in again) to say that he will repeal the ban on Fox hunting if elected PM. It is clearly a priority for our country right now. With the ballot papers on their way to the 160,000 101 year olds in whose hands your immediate future lies, you can decide if the man who portrayed himself as so humane when Health Secretary, is revealing his true colours or has concocted a plan to squeeze out a few more votes as he desperately tries to overhaul Boris.
Boris is having his own problems, despite team Boris continuing with their tactics of running what some are calling a “Submarine” campaign, breaking the surface only when absolutely necessary. His campaign has links to a lobbyists whose clients include Coca Cola and guess what? Boris is supporting stopping the tax on sugary drinks.
Both candidates’ campaigns are struggling with the smell test when it comes to funding. Hunt is taking cash from unsavoury Middle Eastern types and Boris got a substantial bung from someone he helped override planning law for whilst the Blonde Buffoon was doing his Dick Whittington stint. We should not be surprised. This is a shoot out between two incredibly wealthy posh boys who have an extraordinary network of incredibly wealthy posh boys themselves. The source of that wealth is not always necessarily tasteful. This is not a Party Political point. If this were a Labour leadership contest we would be asking questions about links to the Trade Unions and the PLO.
This morning in what I can only find a highly amusing turn, it has transpired that when Boris was appointed Foreign Secretary, No 10 did not give him access to all the top secret files he might have expected. Seems fair enough to me and it is only going to continue if he wins. Who would have thought that sharing intelligence between US and UK security agencies would involve the best way to hide the nuclear codes from the crazy guy in the big office?
It is probably time to alert you to the people we will all be hearing a lot more of in Brussels. The context may not yet be clear, no deal, transition period or no Brexit, but they will have a big role to play in the next five years. Germany’s Ursula von der Leyen, will replace Jean-Claude Juncker as European Commission president on November 1, assuming she is confirmed by European Parliament, and Belgian PM Charles Michel, will replace Donald Tusk as European Council president a month later. Both figures have come in somewhat under the radar and are regarded as having federalist tendencies.
Meanwhile ABHI towers has been busy talking to our friends in the DHSC’s contingency planning teams, most of it behind closed doors for now. Rest assured, as a sector we are as prepared as we can be and we will be issuing further advice as soon as we are able. Professor Keith Willett has also written to the NHS, following last week’s missive to all of you.
If you have, with heavy heart, resigned yourselves to the fact that you know who is about to become PM and will drive us over the cliff (you should not by the way, there are all sorts of Parliamentary shenanigans about to happen) here is some solace for you from Germany. Britain will ask to rejoin the European Union in a decade, a close ally of Angela Merkel has predicted. Elmar Brok, a long-time associate of the German Chancellor and fellow member of the Christian Democratic Union of Germany, suggested to The House magazine that the UK would struggle to thrive as an independent country. "Many people believe that England is a world power… what is Britain alone compared to the United States, China, Russia or India? It is an island in the northern Sea. I would say the same thing about Germany, but Germany is bigger and economically more successful," he said. "We will see. In a few years' time, Britain will be back… At least in ten years' time, [they will] ask for membership." Mr Brok, who was the longest serving MEP before standing down at last month's European elections, also claimed Brexit was a "purely English question", an "Eton boys' game" and claimed a no deal Brexit would be "ten times harder" for Britain than the EU. The 73-year-old also blasted Boris Johnson's bid to become Prime Minister but said it would be a "big surprise" if the former London mayor, who he has known for 25 years, did not enter No10. "I have fun with him. We've had many cigars and whisky in our lives together," he told The House. When asked if he thought the former foreign secretary would make a good prime minister, he cited Mr Johnson's record while a Brussels correspondent at the Daily Telegraph. "As someone who was a journalist here, who was not very often very close to the truth when he was at the Daily Telegraph, when he invented stories – he has not changed. It's fun to talk to him – it's really fun to talk to him, intellectual fun. But to run a country?"
And so, into the weekend when the ballot papers land on the doormats of the 101 year olds. Time is running out for Boris to screw it up, but do keep an eye on the Sunday papers. Funny how the great communicator, the big personality and legendary wit has been locked away, whilst the understated, moderate safe pair of hands has been getting increasingly swivel-eyed. It has been a win the toss and bat kind of contest.
